Wedding & Betrothal Ancestral Altar Prayer (Vu Quy & Tan Hon): 3D & A4

Q: Are there special adjustments if the bride is expecting a child on the wedding day?

Welcoming both a marriage and a child is celebrated as Double Joy Entering the Gate . Both families perform the Ancestral Altar Ceremony with full warmth so the Forebears may bless both the couple and the unborn child. For physical comfort and safety, the bride wears a comfortable ao dai and low heels, and bows with clasped hands while standing rather than kneeling deeply to the floor (and skips any folk custom of stepping over a charcoal brazier).

Q: How are the betrothal tray offerings distributed after the altar incense finishes burning?

Once two-thirds of the incense has burned: half of each betrothal tray (in even numbers, separated gently by hand without knives) is placed back into the trays with lids turned face-up for the Groom's family to bring home to their ancestral altar; the remaining half is shared with the Bride's extended relatives and close neighbors in small gift boxes of cakes, tea and lotus seeds as a traditional wedding announcement.

Q: What if our home's ancestral altar is in a small top-floor room that cannot fit both wedding delegations?

You have two dignified options: Option 1 is to invite the core elders of both families together with the parents, bride and groom (6 to 8 people) up to the top-floor worship room to light the Dragon-Phoenix candles and recite the scroll, then return to the ground-floor living hall for speeches and tea service; Option 2 is to set up a formal temporary wedding altar table in the main ground-floor living room with the bronze trio, Dragon-Phoenix candles, incense bowl, flowers and fruits so the entire gathering can witness the rite together.

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3. Choose Prayer Variant, Enter Altar Mode or Print A4 Scroll

Recited by the bride's father, parents or senior clan representative before the Bride's family altar after receiving the Groom's ceremonial gift trays: reports the union to the Household Deities, the Matchmaking Immortals (Old Man Under the Moon & Lady of the Red Silk Thread) and the Ancestors of [HO_GIA_TIEN], asking blessing as the daughter departs for her husband's home.

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Wedding and Betrothal Ancestral Altar Prayer: Presenting Betrothal Trays, Lighting Dragon-Phoenix Candles and Honoring Forebears

1. Bride's Family Ancestral Altar Prayer (For the Betrothal Rite & Vu Quy Bridal Departure Ceremony)

Namo Amitabha Buddha! (Three recitations, accompanied by three reverent bows)

Humbly bowing before the Nine Directions of Heaven, the Ten Directions of all Buddhas, and all Buddhas throughout the Ten Directions. Humbly bowing before Sovereign Heaven, Empress Earth and all Venerable Deities.

Humbly bowing before the Reigning Year Commissioner and Grand Duke Jupiter Spirit governing the ………… Year, and the Local Tutelary Guardian Deities of this district.

Humbly bowing before the Local Earth Deity of Righteous Blessing, the Kitchen Deity of the Eastern Hearth, the Household Wealth Deity, and the Venerable Matchmaking Deities of the Crimson Thread (Nguyet Lao Tien Ong and Hong Hy Tinh Quan) who preside over matrimonial destiny.

Humbly bowing before the Seven Generations of Forebears, Great-Grandparents, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, the Revered Clan Aunt and Young Clan Ancestor Spirits of ………….

Today is …………………….

………… ………………………………, residing at the family home located at: ………….

On this joyous and auspicious day for our lineage, before the ancestral altar radiant with Dragon-Phoenix candles and fresh blossoms, ………… reverently present fragrant agarwood incense, five-colored fruits, phoenix-winged betel and areca, lotus tea, fine wine, conjugal cakes and ceremonial offerings from both families, entreating the Venerable Deities and Forebears to bear witness.

………… respectfully report: sheltered by the enduring virtue of our Ancestors, our beloved daughter (granddaughter) has grown into adulthood with filial grace and upright character. Now that auspicious affinity has ripened, both families have met in mutual respect and wholeheartedly consented to unite the young couple in lifelong matrimony.

At this chosen Auspicious Hour, the representatives of the Groom's family have arrived bearing ceremonial trays of betel and areca, tea and wine, conjugal cakes and crimson candles to celebrate the Betrothal and Vu Quy Departure Rite, asking leave to welcome our daughter into their household.

………… respectfully place these betrothal tributes upon the ancestral altar, first to thank the Forebears of ………… for nurturing and protecting our daughter from childhood to this milestone day, and second to guide the bride and groom forward to light the Dragon-Phoenix candles and bow in filial gratitude before the ancestral throne.

May the Venerable Deities, the Matchmaking Immortals of the Crimson Thread, and the Ancestors of ………… bestow abundant blessings upon the newlyweds: may their marital bond remain as warm and inseparable as betel leaf and lime, may they treat each other with lifelong respect, honor their parents on both sides with devotion, welcome virtuous and healthy children, and bring lasting harmony to both clans.

With modest offerings and overflowing joy, ………… together with the bride and groom bow in deep gratitude before the altar!

Namo Amitabha Buddha! (Three recitations, accompanied by three reverent bows)

IIIInteractive 3D Altar, Layout Diagram and Ritual Protocol

Drag to rotate 360° · Click numbered pins 1 to 7 or cards below to inspect each offering

Rendering crimson-and-gold 3D ritual altar…

How to arrange the Wedding Ancestral Altar: Hang the crimson Double-Happiness emblem and vernacular Vietnamese blessing couplets on the backdrop wall behind the altar. On the main altar tier, place the incense bowls, bronze urn, fresh flower vase on the East (right), five-fruit platter on the West (left), and the two candlesticks holding the crimson Dragon-Phoenix Wedding Candles on either side. Directly in front of the main altar, set a red-draped reception table to receive the Groom's lacquer gift trays and display the betel-areca plate, conjugal cakes, tea, wine and crimson sticky rice.

Ancestral Spirit Tablet (Cuu Huyen That To), Portraits & Double-Happiness BackdropPositioned at the rear center of the main altar; purified with warm herbal water on the day before the wedding.

Pair of Candlesticks Holding Crimson Dragon-Phoenix Wedding CandlesFrom the altar seat looking out: Dragon candle on the left (East, Green Dragon Yang), Phoenix candle on the right (West, White Tiger Yin).

Central Household Deity Incense Bowl & Flanking Ancestral BowlsThe spiritual heart of the ceremony; the officiating parent lights 3 or 5 incense sticks first before handing sticks to the couple.

Fresh Lotus or Red Rose Vase (East Vase, Officiant Right)Positioned on the right side from the standing officiant's view, radiating festive warmth and vitality.

Five-Fruit Wedding Platter (West Fruit, Officiant Left)Positioned on the left side from the standing officiant's view in accordance with the East-Vase West-Fruit rule.

Five Wine/Tea Libation Cups, Phoenix-Winged Betel Plate & Conjugal CakesSelected portions from the newly opened betrothal trays placed directly before the ancestral incense bowls.

Double-Happiness Crimson Sticky Rice, Boiled Rooster/Roast Pork & Lacquer TraysArranged on the front offering table; facing the altar, the Groom stands on the left and the Bride stands on the right (Male Left, Female Right).

Real-world reference photographs of traditional altars and offering trays

Open-license documentary photographs via Wikimedia Commons (click any photo for source file)

Traditional Vietnamese household altar with bronze trio. Balanced Vietnamese domestic altar displaying a bronze incense urn and candlesticks at the rear, a blue-and-white ceramic incense bowl centered on a wooden stand, red gladiolus vases and fresh fruit. — **Traditional Vietnamese household altar with bronze trio.** Balanced Vietnamese domestic altar displaying a bronze incense urn and candlesticks at the rear, a blue-and-white ceramic incense bowl centered on a wooden stand, red gladiolus vases and fresh fruit.
Photograph: Phuong Huy · License: Public domain · Source: Wikimedia Commons

Indoor Lunar New Year ancestral meal before the altar. Festive ancestral meal set before the indoor altar with three lit incense sticks, yellow chrysanthemums, three tea cups, betel-areca, savory dishes and neatly filled rice bowls with chopsticks. — **Indoor Lunar New Year ancestral meal before the altar.** Festive ancestral meal set before the indoor altar with three lit incense sticks, yellow chrysanthemums, three tea cups, betel-areca, savory dishes and neatly filled rice bowls with chopsticks.
Photograph: Phuong Huy · License: Public domain · Source: Wikimedia Commons

Step-by-step ceremonial sequence before the altar

The Ancestral Veneration Ceremony (Le Gia Tien) is the emotional and spiritual pinnacle of a Vietnamese wedding. Both families coordinate smoothly through these seven steps.

Step 1
Purify the altar and arrange the host family's base offerings beforehand
On the day before the ceremony, clean the ancestral altar thoroughly, hang the crimson Double-Happiness backdrop, and arrange fresh flowers, the five-fruit tray, pure water and crimson sticky rice.
Step 2
Receive the betrothal trays and place selected tributes onto the altar
Once the Groom's procession enters and the two family representatives exchange greetings, unveil the lacquer trays and place the phoenix-winged betel plate, wine and tea pair, conjugal cakes and Dragon-Phoenix candles onto the altar.
Step 3
Perform the Candle-Lighting Rite (Lighting the Dragon-Phoenix Candles)
Parents or senior elders from both families step before the altar and light the Dragon and Phoenix crimson candles simultaneously. Two steady, upright flames symbolize harmonious union blessed by the Matchmaking Immortals.
Step 4
The officiating parent or clan elder lights incense and recites the Wedding Scroll
The bride's father (using Variant 1 at the Bride's home) or groom's father (using Variant 2 at the Groom's home) lights 3 or 5 incense sticks, bows three times, and reads the Wedding Ancestral Prayer aloud with warmth and dignity.
Step 5
The Groom and Bride step forward to offer incense and bow to the Ancestors
Facing the altar with the Groom on the left and Bride on the right (Male Left, Female Right), the couple receives lit incense sticks, bows to place them in the urn, and performs four ceremonial bows (or three bows by regional custom) before the Forebears.
Step 6
Serve lotus tea or ceremonial wine to Grandparents and Parents
Turning to face the living elders, the newlyweds respectfully offer cups of warm lotus tea or wine to their grandparents and parents, receive parental advice and marriage blessings, and accept family heirloom gifts.
Step 7
Share the Return-Blessing Trays (Lai Qua) by hand without knives or scissors
Once two-thirds of the incense has burned, the Bride's mother retains half of the tray offerings and returns an even-numbered half into the trays for the Groom's family (separating areca nuts and cakes gently by hand, never cutting with a blade) with tray lids placed face-up.

IVFrom the Classical Six Rites (Luc Le) to Today's Three Essential Wedding Ceremonies

In Vietnamese cultural tradition, marriage is far more than a civil contract between two individuals; it is a sacred covenant uniting two family lineages under the witness of their departed Forebears. Consequently, even when modern couples host grand banquet receptions at hotels, the Ancestral Altar Ceremony (Le Gia Tien) performed at the Bride's and Groom's family homes remains the indispensable heart of the wedding.

Historical ritual manuals such as Tho Mai Gia Le codified six sequential marriage stages known as the Six Rites (Luc Le): (1) Nap Thai (initial proposal gift); (2) Van Danh (inquiring the bride's full name and birth data for compatibility); (3) Nap Cat (announcing auspicious harmony before the altar); (4) Nap Trung / Nap Tai (presenting formal betrothal gifts); (5) Thinh Ky (requesting the wedding date); and (6) Than Nghinh (the groom personally escorting the bride home). In contemporary Vietnamese practice across all three regions, these six classical stages are gracefully distilled into Three Core Ceremonies plus a Post-Wedding Return Visit:

According to the tradition

First is the Proposal Visit (Le Dam Ngo): Combining Nap Thai and Van Danh, the groom's parents bring a modest tray of betel, tea, wine and fruit to the bride's home, light incense at the ancestral altar, and formally ask permission for the two young people to prepare for marriage. Second is the Betrothal Ceremony (Le An Hoi / Dinh Hon): Embodying Nap Tai and Thinh Ky, the groom's procession carries ceremonial lacquer trays (trap le) to the bride's family altar, where the bride's father recites Variant 1 to announce the engagement. Third is the Wedding Day (Le Vu Quy at the Bride's home & Le Tan Hon at the Groom's home): Corresponding to Than Nghinh, the bride bows farewell to her ancestral altar (Variant 1) and is escorted to the groom's residence to bow before her new family's ancestral altar (Variant 2).

According to the historical record

One to three days after the wedding, the newlyweds bring a pair of chickens, sticky rice, fruit and pastries back to the bride's parents' home for the Post-Wedding Return Visit (Le Lai Mat or Nhi Hy, Variant 3). This deeply humane custom comforts the bride during her first days away from home while allowing the new son-in-law to express filial gratitude before his wife's ancestral altar.

VSymbolism of Vietnamese Betrothal Trays Across Northern, Central and Southern Regions

Every item carried in the lacquer betrothal trays and placed upon the ancestral altar embodies a classical metaphor of Yin-Yang harmony, fidelity and generational continuity.

Symbolic meaning and regional nuances of 8 core offerings on the Vietnamese Wedding Ancestral Altar.
Ceremonial Offering	Yin-Yang & Cultural Meaning	Regional Practice (North, Central, South)
Number of Lacquer Trays (Trap)	Odd numbers embody growing Yang vitality; even numbers embody paired completeness.	Northern families favor odd tray counts (5, 7, 9 trays) containing even items inside; Southern families favor even tray counts (6 or 8 trays for Wealth and Prosperity).
Phoenix-Winged Betel & Areca	The upright areca palm (Yang) and twining betel vine (Yin) unite with white lime to turn warm crimson.	Indispensable first tray nationwide; Southern trays often feature a whole branch of 60 or 105 areca nuts symbolizing a hundred years of bliss.
Dragon-Phoenix Crimson Candles	The Dragon (Yang) and Phoenix (Yin) pair illuminates the altar under the witness of the Matchmaking Immortals.	Central and Southern weddings make the Candle-Lighting Rite (Le Len Den) the centerpiece of the altar ceremony.
Green Rice Cake & Conjugal Cake	Square green Banh Com represents Earth (Yin); round translucent Banh Phu The represents Heaven (Yang).	Northern trays pair Hanoi Banh Com with Dinh Bang Banh Phu The; Central and Southern trays feature leaf-wrapped Banh Su Se and Banh Pia.
Lotus Tea & Ceremonial Wine	Pure tea fragrance and warm spirit offered to the Ancestors and poured by the couple for their parents.	Presented in even pairs adorned with crimson Double-Happiness seals and opened directly at the altar.
Sugared Lotus Seeds (Mut Sen)	Lotus seeds symbolize noble purity and continuous blessing of future children.	Packaged in even-numbered small boxes in Northern betrothal trays so the bride's family can gift them to relatives as wedding announcements.
Double-Happiness Sticky Rice & Rooster/Pork	Vermilion gac sticky rice and savory offerings announce the joyous milestone to the Forebears.	Often presented as molded gac sticky rice with boiled rooster or whole roast suckling pig.
Bride-Wealth Envelope (Le Nap Tai)	A respectful financial token from the groom's family contributing toward the bride's wedding preparations.	Placed inside crimson envelopes on the betel-and-wine tray and set upon the ancestral altar during the prayer.

VIDragon-Phoenix Candle Liturgy and Proper Standing & Bowing Etiquette Before the Altar

Two ritual details that give families the greatest confidence when prepared well in advance are positioning and lighting the Dragon-Phoenix candles and guiding the bride and groom's standing and bowing sequence.

Placing Dragon and Phoenix candles (Left Green Dragon, Right White Tiger)

Measured from the ancestral seat looking outward: the left side is East (Green Dragon, Yang), where the Dragon candle stands; the right side is West (White Tiger, Yin), where the Phoenix candle stands. Thus, for a viewer standing in the room looking into the altar, the Dragon candle is on the right and the Phoenix candle is on the left.

Keeping the Dragon-Phoenix flames steady and wind-shielded

Folk tradition cherishes two calm, balanced candle flames burning evenly without flickering out. Before the ceremony begins, switch off overhead ceiling fans near the altar, close drafty side windows, trim the candle wicks to roughly 1cm, and anchor both candles firmly into the bronze holders.

Standing position of Groom and Bride (Male Left, Female Right)

When the groom and bride stand side by side facing into the ancestral altar to offer incense and bow, follow the classical rule of Male Left, Female Right (Nam Ta Nu Huu): the Groom stands on the left and the Bride stands on the right.

Ceremonial bowing sequence before Ancestors and Parents

After the officiating parent finishes reading the scroll, the couple offers incense and performs 4 full bows (or 3 bows by local custom) to the Ancestors, turns to perform 2 bows of gratitude to their living grandparents and parents while serving tea, and exchanges 1 mutual bow as husband and wife.

VIISelecting Auspicious Days and Hours for Betrothal and Marriage

In classical East Asian date selection for matrimony, astrologers harmonize the birth charts of both the Bride and Groom (giving special care to the Bride's birth year) to choose a day brimming with generative Yang Qi.

According to the tradition

Within the Twelve Day Officers system, the four premier days for betrothal and marriage are: the Success Officer (Cheng) for joyful completion and enduring union, the Stable Officer (Ding) for lifelong constancy, the Full Officer (Man) for abundant family prosperity, and the Open Officer (Kai) for auspicious new beginnings. These are paired with Major Auspicious Stars such as Heavenly Virtue, Monthly Virtue, Heavenly Joy, Three Harmonies (Tam Hop) and Six Harmonies (Luc Hop).

According to the historical record

Conversely, wedding date selection strictly avoids the Six Tam Nuong Taboo Days (3rd, 7th, 13th, 18th, 22nd and 27th lunar days), the Three Monthly Taboo Days (5th, 14th and 23rd lunar days), Break Officer (Po) or Close Officer (Bi) days, days whose Earthly Branch clashes with the bride's or groom's birth year Branch, and solitary star days. Use the interactive calendar at the top of this page to select your ceremony date and automatically display the day's Sexagenary stems and Auspicious Hours for the bridal procession.

VIIISix Essential Guidelines and Taboos for a Joyful, Dignified Wedding Altar Ceremony

Observing these six practical customs ensures that the ceremony at both family homes unfolds with grace, warmth and mutual respect between the two clans:

A common misunderstanding

Six essential guidelines for the Wedding Ancestral Altar Ceremony:

First, never use knives or scissors to split betel, areca nuts or cakes when preparing the Return-Blessing Trays (Lai Qua). In Vietnamese wedding etiquette, cutting blades symbolize severing affection. When the bride's mother divides the offerings to return half to the groom's family, she gently separates areca stems, betel leaves and paired cakes by hand in even numbers.

Second, return the lacquer tray lids face-up rather than closed tight. When the groom's procession arrives, all tray lids are closed; when returning the half-share of gifts to the groom's family at the end of the rite, place the lacquer lids upside-down (open face-up) on top of the trays to signify openhearted harmony and shared fortune.

Third, prepare a dedicated red-draped reception table in front of the main altar beforehand. Never set betrothal trays down on the floor. Having a sturdy table ready in front of the ancestral altar allows the tray-bearers to set down all 5 to 9 trays smoothly in a single dignified motion.

Fourth, avoid mournful flowers or thorny stems on the wedding altar. Do not place white marigolds, fragile hibiscus or funerary blooms on a wedding altar; choose pink or red lotus, red roses, red gladioli, peonies or golden orchids.

Fifth, choose an officiant blessed with a harmonious family life to read the scroll. The parent or senior uncle/aunt who lights the opening incense and reads the ancestral scroll should be a respected elder living in marital harmony, passing warm blessing onto the young couple.

Sixth, balance auspicious timing with warm hospitality. If traffic causes the bridal procession to arrive slightly early, welcome the guests graciously at the courtyard threshold and step inside to light the altar candles at the opening of the Auspicious Hour in a spirit of joy.

?Quick Questions

Who should stand before the altar to read the Wedding Ancestral Prayer?

By Vietnamese family tradition, the person who lights the opening incense and reads the scroll aloud is the bride's father at the Bride's family home (using Variant 1) and the groom's father at the Groom's family home (using Variant 2). If the father delegates the role or by clan custom, a respected senior uncle or clan elder blessed with a harmonious marriage and filial children officiates the scroll while the parents, groom and bride stand reverently behind him before stepping forward to bow.

If we combine the Betrothal (An Hoi) and Bridal Departure (Vu Quy) into a single morning ceremony, which text do we read?

Many modern families, especially when the bride and groom live in different provinces or cities, hold the Betrothal tray presentation and Vu Quy Bridal Departure consecutively on the same morning. You may use Variant 1 on this page directly: it seamlessly unites presenting the betrothal tributes on the altar with asking ancestral blessing for the bride's departure, avoiding any need to read two separate scrolls.

Why is lighting the Dragon-Phoenix crimson candles (Le Len Den) considered so important in Vietnamese weddings?

Across Vietnam, and especially in Central and Southern provinces, the Candle-Lighting Rite (Le Len Den) using the pair of crimson Dragon and Phoenix candles brought by the Groom's family is the sacred moment that seals the marriage covenant before the Matchmaking Immortals (Old Man Under the Moon and Lady of the Crimson Thread) and the Seven Generations of Forebears. When both flames rise warm and steady on the ancestral altar, the two lineages are formally united.

Are there special adjustments if the bride is expecting a child on the wedding day?

Welcoming both a marriage and a child is celebrated as Double Joy Entering the Gate. Both families perform the Ancestral Altar Ceremony with full warmth so the Forebears may bless both the couple and the unborn child. For physical comfort and safety, the bride wears a comfortable ao dai and low heels, and bows with clasped hands while standing rather than kneeling deeply to the floor (and skips any folk custom of stepping over a charcoal brazier).

How are the betrothal tray offerings distributed after the altar incense finishes burning?

Once two-thirds of the incense has burned: half of each betrothal tray (in even numbers, separated gently by hand without knives) is placed back into the trays with lids turned face-up for the Groom's family to bring home to their ancestral altar; the remaining half is shared with the Bride's extended relatives and close neighbors in small gift boxes of cakes, tea and lotus seeds as a traditional wedding announcement.

What if our home's ancestral altar is in a small top-floor room that cannot fit both wedding delegations?

You have two dignified options: Option 1 is to invite the core elders of both families together with the parents, bride and groom (6 to 8 people) up to the top-floor worship room to light the Dragon-Phoenix candles and recite the scroll, then return to the ground-floor living hall for speeches and tea service; Option 2 is to set up a formal temporary wedding altar table in the main ground-floor living room with the bronze trio, Dragon-Phoenix candles, incense bowl, flowers and fruits so the entire gathering can witness the rite together.

Compiled, textually collated and diagrammed by Master Ưng Khiêm and UK MASTER ACADEMY. Last updated: 31 October 2026. Sources: Collated from Classical Vietnamese Liturgical Manuals, Tho Mai Gia Le, Viet Nam Phong Tuc (Phan Ke Binh), Classical Matrimonial Date-Selection Canons, and UK Master Academy traditional family rite standards.

Wedding and Betrothal Ancestral Altar Prayer: Presenting Betrothal Trays, Lighting Dragon-Phoenix Candles and Honoring Forebears

IPersonalize Your Scroll, Select Ritual Date and Read Prayer

1. Select Solar Date (Auto-converts to Lunar Date, Sexagenary Cycle & Auspicious Hours)

2. Officiant and Household Details (Live Scroll Personalization)

3. Choose Prayer Variant, Enter Altar Mode or Print A4 Scroll

Wedding and Betrothal Ancestral Altar Prayer: Presenting Betrothal Trays, Lighting Dragon-Phoenix Candles and Honoring Forebears

IICeremonial Offerings and Preparation Checklist

Group 1: Agarwood Incense, Dragon-Phoenix Candles, Fresh Blossoms & Five Fruits

Group 2: Ceremonial Betrothal Tray Tributes Presented on the Altar

Group 3: Savory Ancestral Feast Tray & Printed A4 Wedding Scroll

IIIInteractive 3D Altar, Layout Diagram and Ritual Protocol

Real-world reference photographs of traditional altars and offering trays

Step-by-step ceremonial sequence before the altar

IVFrom the Classical Six Rites (Luc Le) to Today's Three Essential Wedding Ceremonies

VSymbolism of Vietnamese Betrothal Trays Across Northern, Central and Southern Regions

VIDragon-Phoenix Candle Liturgy and Proper Standing & Bowing Etiquette Before the Altar

VIISelecting Auspicious Days and Hours for Betrothal and Marriage

VIIISix Essential Guidelines and Taboos for a Joyful, Dignified Wedding Altar Ceremony

?Quick Questions

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